I forgot my one line so I just said what I felt

Okay. I’m working on this funky project thing that is going to remain shrouded in semi-secret for a bit here. However, in the creation of this semi-secret project I need some help from you, the smartest, most best Westernerds ever.

What I need is a great gob of Westerberg/’Mats one-liners. You know the lyrics that really kicked you in the teeth/ass/heart. Let me hear ’em.

Trick is they need to be short, short, short 10-12 words max. The shorter the better.

Some of the ones I came up with on my own:
I will dare.
I hate music
Hot ‘un
(shut up, they do go beyond song titles, okay)
Playing makeup, wearing guitar
Wild & Lethal
My heart could use some glasses

Got it? Get to it. I need between 50-75 of these short little quips.

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42 Comments

  1. matt 25.Oct.07 at 12:45 pm

    count twenty paces at dawn
    count twenty questions we’ll get wrong.

  2. pl 25.Oct.07 at 1:50 pm

    This was a fun request — prompted me to listen to a lot of songs I hadn’t heard in a while. Most are probably longer than what you’re looking for…

    ANDROGYNOUS: he might be a father, but he sure ain’t a dad
    ANSWERING MACHINE: try and teach a whore about romance
    SWINGIN’ PARTY: if bein’ wrong’s a crime, I’m serving forever
    LITTLE MASCARA: for the moon you keep shootin’
    LITTLE MASCARA: you nap ’em and you slap ’em in a highchair
    ALEX CHILTON: feelin’ like a hundred bucks
    CAN’T HARDLY WAIT: Jesus rides beside me
    PORTLAND: shared a cigarette for breakfast, shared a pack of lies for lunch
    SOMEONE TAKE THE WHEEL: the windows are dirty let’s hope it rains
    RUNAWAY WIND: you trade your telescope for a keyhole
    WE KNOW THE NIGHT: with the scissors and a comb I cut my lawn
    WE KNOW THE NIGHT: there’s a war raging outside, I hope my grass stays green
    ALL THAT I HAD: me and yesterday hopped on a track
    ALL THAT I HAD: didn’t follow my dreams, I lost the map
    ALL THAT I HAD: gave a life, got a living
    WORLD CLASS FAD: remember leave a trail of crumbs
    MANNEQUIN SHOP: honey, can you spare a nose
    LOVE UNTOLD: both, just in case, wear clean underwear
    PSYCHOPHARMACOLOGY: ADD, PCP, F-U-C-K-E-D that’s me

  3. Jodi 25.Oct.07 at 2:08 pm

    Nice work, keep ’em coming y’all. I will give all commenter a super-secret gift pack of some sort.

  4. Noah 25.Oct.07 at 2:26 pm

    “Bacon and cigarette’s a lousy dinner.”
    “Everything ain’t ok. I might die before Monday.”
    “I’m so unsatisfied.”
    “We are the sons of no one.”
    “God, what a mess, on the ladder of success.”
    “The ones who love us least are the ones we’ll die to please.”
    “Can’t hardly wait.”
    “Color me impressed.”

  5. Joey Ramone 25.Oct.07 at 3:48 pm

    hungry and fed up (and most of Valentine to add on)
    I am a button to sew on
    radio’s blasting, turn that shit off!
    well a person can work up a mean, mean thirst after a hard day of nothing much at all

    and of course…. “former whore, she’s peeing on ajax”

  6. Phil Venable 25.Oct.07 at 3:48 pm

    Yesterday’s trash; too bored to thrash

    Cause we’re getting nowhere fast as we know how

    Go while you can

    Hips shake to the band for old times sake

    Get me out of the stinkin’ fresh air

  7. Burt 25.Oct.07 at 6:43 pm

    Tell you questions, asking me lies
    Hollywood cops shoot each other in bed

  8. jaytaco 25.Oct.07 at 8:04 pm

    Ha- I could do this all day. I ussually do, just that nobodys ever actually asked for it lol…
    Valentine “Well you wish upon a star, that turns into a plane.”

    Left of the dial “If I dont see you, for a long long while, I’ll try and find you, left of the dial.”

    left of the dial “Headed off to San Francisco, definately NOT L.A.!”

    Cant hardly Wait”Jesus rides beside me, but never buys any smokes.”

    Here Comes a Regular “Used to live at home, now I stay at the house.”

    Runaway wind”Used to wear my heart on my sleeve, I guess it still shows”

    Answering Machine “Got a handful of friends, one needs a mtach and one needs some ice.”

    Only a midwesterner can relate-Stuck in the Middle “Nothing on the left, nothing on the right, stuck in the middle.”

    Ill be you “left arebel without a clue”

    Nobody “take a look on your wedding night, in your wedding book, see what name I signed.”

    Hayday “Going to the part that we werent invited”

    Hot un “Just look at that girl on that tattoo”
    “check out the girl on that belly button” “I got an earring that I dangle from”

    knocking on mine “an english teacher from vancouver, she asked me to write something for her students. I said “knowledge adds wisdom lets slide!” she says “now really, I wanna tap your mind” Quit knocking on mine.”

    World class fad “You wax poetic about things pathetic, as long as you look so cute…”

    Wonderful lie “take an ampetamine and a crushed right brain” “how am i looking on i dont want the truth. what am i doing i aint in my youth, im past my prime, or was that just a pose?”

    Cmon Cmon Cmon “Bite his hand next time he beckons” “slap the tast right outta his mouth”

    Crackle and drag “she made a good go for a weeping willow, her limbs hung to the ground”

    my daydream “aint worth a damn baby without you- youre my daydream”

    once around the weekend “i watch myself fall apart, i watch the rabbits in my yard”

    even here we are “beautiful flowers in your garden, but the most beautiful by far, is the one growing wild in the garbage dump…”

    As far as know “im in love with a face that ive never seen…im in love with a time that never took place”

    My dad “my dad siiting in his chair, still got hair and pride”

    looking up in heaven “looking up in heaven but you werent anywhere in sight”

    eyes like sparks “just stay where you are with youre eyes like sparks and my heart like gasoline” I swear its an exile on main street lost track…so good

    between love and like “in between the cracks uyoure gonna slide”

    Boring enormous “the coffee it laughs at us every morning, we always laugh at the choices weve made, and ask ourselves, how did it get so early?”

    “pray to god strike down the band”

    Best grafitti ive ever seen: “theres a little Westerberg in all of us”

  9. jaytaco 25.Oct.07 at 8:10 pm

    oops, just saw the “keep them short” part. my bad.

  10. jaytaco 25.Oct.07 at 9:51 pm

    i wuhwuhwuhwuh wont!!!!!!!

    Red lght red light RUN IT.

    Eight dollars, and fifty cents…

    Buck Hill

    absolution is outta the question

    mark says hi

    and of course…any paul “yeaoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

  11. honkywithahaton 25.Oct.07 at 10:23 pm

    “I’m working on this funky project thing that is going to remain shrouded in semi-secret for a bit here.”

    I’m smelling Trivial Pursuit Westerberg Edition big time.

  12. Wolfdog 26.Oct.07 at 4:08 am

    Everybody’s dressing funny
    I took a vow, a vow of celebrity
    your age is the hardest age
    just add water, I’m disappointed
    Can I use your hairspray?
    I’m the boy she can’t ignore
    town to town, Duluth to Madison
    Judged once, and then left aside
    A dream too tired to come true
    knowledge adds, wisdom lets slide
    kewpie dolls and urine stalls
    Im past my prime, or was that just a pose
    give me tambourines, a pair of shaking hips
    Is this a library or bar?
    On my feet as far as I can tell
    Divine intervention was not my intention

  13. pzp 26.Oct.07 at 7:46 am

    “left a rebel without a clue”

    No Tom Petty allowed…

    .
    .
    .

    “I believe I have just started to bore the only guy who’s listening”

    “Ain’t got anything, to say to anyone, anymore”

    “We’re boring enormous; please just ignore us”

  14. Chris 26.Oct.07 at 8:07 am

    You’re power drunk with passion
    A fact I can’t ignore
    We don’t dare ask for your photograph
    You couldn’t bear lying in some drawer

  15. revax 26.Oct.07 at 8:23 am

    I’m in love with someone that doesn’t exist

    Used to be a folker, ’til you tried to choke her

    I can do no right in your eyes

    Do the dead man shake, shake

    You’re my favorite thing

    Well I can’t breathe / I can’t swallow

    Outta my way, can’t see no band

  16. Chris 26.Oct.07 at 8:47 am

    Beats pickin’ cotton

    Idiots act like geniuses
    Geniuses act like idiotses

    Drownin’ in this city

    You’re like a picture on a fridge that’s never stocked with food

    We’ll inherit the earth but we don’t want it

    You like the frosting, you just bought the cake

    They say all the worlds a stage, it’s more like a medicine cabinet

  17. pzp 26.Oct.07 at 9:10 am

    if you love somebody, set them free

  18. Jodi 26.Oct.07 at 9:11 am

    2 minutes in the penalty box — illegal use of Sting.

  19. mimi 26.Oct.07 at 10:20 am

    bring your own lampshade

  20. Five-Card 26.Oct.07 at 10:34 am

    One I’ve had in my head lately: “You’re my favorite thing / But I’m nothing!”

  21. Eric 26.Oct.07 at 10:54 am

    If no one’s on your canvas, then I’m achin’ to be.

    Income tax deduction… what a hell of a function.

    all over but the shouting.

    And every single one liner from I will Dare. 😀

    Haha my brain isn’t on straight and I’m in a rush to head up to see Soul Asylum tonight. (Fingers crossed that Tommy gigs with them tonight!!)

  22. RJ 26.Oct.07 at 12:33 pm

    Baby needs a brand new pair of eyes, ’cause the ones you got now see only goodbyes.

    Sorry, 17 words… OK, OK, I’m the guy in the ten-items-or-less line with a basket full of stuff. But these lyrics conform to your first rule: they kick me in the teeth AND the ass AND the heart. So there.

  23. Placemat 26.Oct.07 at 1:19 pm

    Liberty…It’s a lie.

    Still in love with nobody…& I used to be nobody.

    I can live without your touch, but I’ll die within your reach.

    Big town’s got it losers, Small town’s got it’s vices.

    Get shit faced drunk tryin’ ta sober up.

    The rich are gettin’ richer while the poor are gettin’ drunk.

    The world owes you NOTHIN’.

    F-U-C-K-E-D that’s me.

    Shocking how nothing shocks anymore.

    If no one’s on your canvas…Well, I’m achin’ to be.

    Lonely, I guess that’s where I’m from.

    When I’m alone I have no cause to think about the shit we used to know.

    My tears fell through the dirt as I heaved you to the sky.

    Gonna show you something ain’t never been done.

    Invisible man who can sing in a visible voice.

    The words I thought I brought I left behind.

    Trouble keeping your head up when you’re hungry and you’re fed up.

    You’re the coolest guy that I ever have smelt.

    A Saturday sippin’ beer it’s getting’ drunk without a year.

    Jesus rides beside me, been awhile since he’s checked my pulse (best boot alt I’ve heard).

    I smell you hair, on the clothes I wear, I miss your face.

    Baby needs a brand new pair of eyes, cause the ones you got now see only goodbyes.

    & We’re standing in the shadows, forever on the brink, turn it up so I don’t have to think.

    & If you say nothing, then that’s something I’ll understand.

    Some shit on the needle, like your record.

    You been swearing to God, now maybe if you’d ask.

    Think big once in a while.

    One more night to get it half right.

    Down on all fives, Let me crawl.

    Hold my life because I just might lose it.

    If you knew how I felt, You wouldn’t act so adult.

    Pound the prairie pavement, losin’ proposition.

    The ones who love us best are the ones we’ll lay to rest & visit their graves on holidays at best.

    Ya grow old in a bar.

    You and I fall together, You and I sleep alone.

    I used to live at home, now I stay at their house.

    Intoxicated, every minute I French kiss.

    In my face and out my ear.

    I give you my jacket, You give me your glamour, Gimmie that record, Gimmie that hammer.

    What they teach you to fix, needs to be broke.

    I say he who laughs first didn’t get the joke.

    Wisdom is ignorance; stupidity I call it freedom.

    This 9 to 5 bullshit don’t let you forget whose suicide you’re on.

    You wax poetic about things pathetic, as long as you look so cute.

    But the most beautiful by far, Scream of the man who never learned to fly.

    I could use some breathing room, but I’m still in love with you.

    If I could only find your volume knob.

    Let’s not belong together.

    Hurry up, teach you some patience…fast.

    Wouldn’t dare ask for your photograph, You couldn’t bear lying in some drawer.

    Buck Hill!

  24. zook 26.Oct.07 at 4:58 pm

    Now I only sleep when spoken too
    You can dress to the eights, you can dress to maim

  25. Color Me Impressed 27.Oct.07 at 12:08 pm

    She’s got the devil in her eyes

    If I was from Canada, then I best become lonesome

    Get shitfaced drunk tryin’ to sober up

    Where are the Twinkies? What’s on sale?

    Try to free a slave of ignorance

    I keep on wakin’ fully confused

  26. Ike 27.Oct.07 at 12:33 pm

    I’d just like to nominate this (already posted above) as the greatest single line PW’s every written:

    Answering Machine “Got a handful of friends, one needs a match and one needs some ice.”

    Up until a few years ago I just considered that kind of a throwaway line, ie he’s at a party and there a couple friends there that need these things.

    UNTIL, someone on Kathy’s site pointed out that what he’s saying is that the smoke and the drink are literally his friends. Brilliant (and perhaps obvious to most, but I’m kinda dense and thus needed it pointed out to me).

  27. Jodi 27.Oct.07 at 12:37 pm

    Ike, I had never, ever thought about it that way and you’re right it is Brilliant.

    Wow. I thought I was done learning new things.

    thank you.

  28. honkywithahaton 27.Oct.07 at 4:39 pm

    ‘If I was from Canada, then I best become lonesome”

    I thought that was:

    “If I was from Canada, then I’d best be called ‘lonesome'”

    … the explanation being that he’d heard that in Canada they say ‘lonesome’ instead of ‘lonely,’ like they call it where he’s from

  29. Beege 27.Oct.07 at 6:03 pm

    If only you were lonely too

    The only lie worth telling is I’m in love with you

    one foot in the door, the other one in the gutter

    can you stand me on my feet

    Get shitface drunk try to sober up

    Don’t break your neck when you fall down laughing

    Try to breathe some life into a letter
    Losing hope, never gonna be together

    You and I fall together
    You and I sleep alone

    I never travel far, without a little Big Star

    You’ve never changed
    I just never got past
    Your little rock & roll ass

    You’ve learned to quit, it’s a stunning trait
    And every loser knows this

    It’s the dialogue I can live without
    Hurry up, my place or his?

    if you need someone
    to tell everything you’ve done
    then lie to me
    i’m the one who can attempt to be your friend

    Bring a thimble and I’ll pour my thoughts out

    Just a few that i love!!!!! sorry!

  30. Peabody 27.Oct.07 at 7:01 pm

    Feeling better than yesterday, but worse than tomorrow.

  31. Color Me Impressed 27.Oct.07 at 8:59 pm

    honkywithahaton, you’re right. That was just my stupid early morning typo.

    Ike, that’s genius! I never thought of it that way, and now I love that song even more.

  32. jay 28.Oct.07 at 3:59 pm

    Dont feel bad…i hear “If…I was from canada…where the best become of some…”

    But hey, I did get figure out Answering Machine hehe…

  33. jay 28.Oct.07 at 4:01 pm

    And as on the answering machine line..he often qoutes booze and cigs as his friends… can ya figure those lyrics out out smarties?

  34. jay 28.Oct.07 at 4:02 pm

    best posting name ever: honkywithahaton

  35. Robert 29.Oct.07 at 6:09 pm

    From “I’ll Be You,” 1989: “I’m dressin’ sharp and feelin’ dull …”

  36. Smoo 31.Oct.07 at 12:47 am

    “never finishes, she abandons”
    “invisible man who can sing in a visible voice”
    “you try to hail an ambulance”

  37. Caroline 31.Oct.07 at 7:19 am

    “Leap of faith or a jump of stupid”

  38. honkywithahaton 31.Oct.07 at 5:25 pm

    These lines are like Paul’s ticket into my brain. As much as I love the wordplay, and I totally love it, in the long run I’m more interested in what else he’s got once he’s there.

  39. Scott 01.Nov.07 at 3:20 pm

    Beege:
    “if you need someone
    to tell everything you’ve done
    then lie to me
    i’m the one who can attempt to be your friend”

    I think the last part is actually

    “i’m the one content to be your friend”

    but the next part is even more powerful:

    “if you need someone
    tell anything you’ve done
    lie to me
    i’m the one, I still can pretend”

  40. Scott 01.Nov.07 at 3:22 pm

    and a triple vote for the “handful of friends” line in answering machine. also took me a couple of years before i got it, but when it did, i literally got chills.

  41. Scott 01.Nov.07 at 3:41 pm

    My love for you has finally scarred.

    I hear your voice, I hit erase.

  42. Chicago Tim 01.Nov.07 at 9:17 pm

    LITTLE MASCARA – Nap ’em and you slap in a high chair
    NOBODY – I used to be nobody.
    I’LL BE YOU – I’m bored right out of my skull.
    ALL SHOOK DOWN – Hollywood cops shoot other in bed
    I DON’t KNOW – One foot in the door, the other one in the gutter.