Okay. I’m working on this funky project thing that is going to remain shrouded in semi-secret for a bit here. However, in the creation of this semi-secret project I need some help from you, the smartest, most best Westernerds ever.
What I need is a great gob of Westerberg/’Mats one-liners. You know the lyrics that really kicked you in the teeth/ass/heart. Let me hear ’em.
Trick is they need to be short, short, short 10-12 words max. The shorter the better.
Some of the ones I came up with on my own:
I will dare.
I hate music
Hot ‘un
(shut up, they do go beyond song titles, okay)
Playing makeup, wearing guitar
Wild & Lethal
My heart could use some glasses
Got it? Get to it. I need between 50-75 of these short little quips.
count twenty paces at dawn
count twenty questions we’ll get wrong.
This was a fun request — prompted me to listen to a lot of songs I hadn’t heard in a while. Most are probably longer than what you’re looking for…
ANDROGYNOUS: he might be a father, but he sure ain’t a dad
ANSWERING MACHINE: try and teach a whore about romance
SWINGIN’ PARTY: if bein’ wrong’s a crime, I’m serving forever
LITTLE MASCARA: for the moon you keep shootin’
LITTLE MASCARA: you nap ’em and you slap ’em in a highchair
ALEX CHILTON: feelin’ like a hundred bucks
CAN’T HARDLY WAIT: Jesus rides beside me
PORTLAND: shared a cigarette for breakfast, shared a pack of lies for lunch
SOMEONE TAKE THE WHEEL: the windows are dirty let’s hope it rains
RUNAWAY WIND: you trade your telescope for a keyhole
WE KNOW THE NIGHT: with the scissors and a comb I cut my lawn
WE KNOW THE NIGHT: there’s a war raging outside, I hope my grass stays green
ALL THAT I HAD: me and yesterday hopped on a track
ALL THAT I HAD: didn’t follow my dreams, I lost the map
ALL THAT I HAD: gave a life, got a living
WORLD CLASS FAD: remember leave a trail of crumbs
MANNEQUIN SHOP: honey, can you spare a nose
LOVE UNTOLD: both, just in case, wear clean underwear
PSYCHOPHARMACOLOGY: ADD, PCP, F-U-C-K-E-D that’s me
Nice work, keep ’em coming y’all. I will give all commenter a super-secret gift pack of some sort.
“Bacon and cigarette’s a lousy dinner.”
“Everything ain’t ok. I might die before Monday.”
“I’m so unsatisfied.”
“We are the sons of no one.”
“God, what a mess, on the ladder of success.”
“The ones who love us least are the ones we’ll die to please.”
“Can’t hardly wait.”
“Color me impressed.”
hungry and fed up (and most of Valentine to add on)
I am a button to sew on
radio’s blasting, turn that shit off!
well a person can work up a mean, mean thirst after a hard day of nothing much at all
and of course…. “former whore, she’s peeing on ajax”
Yesterday’s trash; too bored to thrash
Cause we’re getting nowhere fast as we know how
Go while you can
Hips shake to the band for old times sake
Get me out of the stinkin’ fresh air
Tell you questions, asking me lies
Hollywood cops shoot each other in bed
Ha- I could do this all day. I ussually do, just that nobodys ever actually asked for it lol…
Valentine “Well you wish upon a star, that turns into a plane.”
Left of the dial “If I dont see you, for a long long while, I’ll try and find you, left of the dial.”
left of the dial “Headed off to San Francisco, definately NOT L.A.!”
Cant hardly Wait”Jesus rides beside me, but never buys any smokes.”
Here Comes a Regular “Used to live at home, now I stay at the house.”
Runaway wind”Used to wear my heart on my sleeve, I guess it still shows”
Answering Machine “Got a handful of friends, one needs a mtach and one needs some ice.”
Only a midwesterner can relate-Stuck in the Middle “Nothing on the left, nothing on the right, stuck in the middle.”
Ill be you “left arebel without a clue”
Nobody “take a look on your wedding night, in your wedding book, see what name I signed.”
Hayday “Going to the part that we werent invited”
Hot un “Just look at that girl on that tattoo”
“check out the girl on that belly button” “I got an earring that I dangle from”
knocking on mine “an english teacher from vancouver, she asked me to write something for her students. I said “knowledge adds wisdom lets slide!” she says “now really, I wanna tap your mind” Quit knocking on mine.”
World class fad “You wax poetic about things pathetic, as long as you look so cute…”
Wonderful lie “take an ampetamine and a crushed right brain” “how am i looking on i dont want the truth. what am i doing i aint in my youth, im past my prime, or was that just a pose?”
Cmon Cmon Cmon “Bite his hand next time he beckons” “slap the tast right outta his mouth”
Crackle and drag “she made a good go for a weeping willow, her limbs hung to the ground”
my daydream “aint worth a damn baby without you- youre my daydream”
once around the weekend “i watch myself fall apart, i watch the rabbits in my yard”
even here we are “beautiful flowers in your garden, but the most beautiful by far, is the one growing wild in the garbage dump…”
As far as know “im in love with a face that ive never seen…im in love with a time that never took place”
My dad “my dad siiting in his chair, still got hair and pride”
looking up in heaven “looking up in heaven but you werent anywhere in sight”
eyes like sparks “just stay where you are with youre eyes like sparks and my heart like gasoline” I swear its an exile on main street lost track…so good
between love and like “in between the cracks uyoure gonna slide”
Boring enormous “the coffee it laughs at us every morning, we always laugh at the choices weve made, and ask ourselves, how did it get so early?”
“pray to god strike down the band”
Best grafitti ive ever seen: “theres a little Westerberg in all of us”
oops, just saw the “keep them short” part. my bad.
i wuhwuhwuhwuh wont!!!!!!!
Red lght red light RUN IT.
Eight dollars, and fifty cents…
Buck Hill
absolution is outta the question
mark says hi
and of course…any paul “yeaoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
“I’m working on this funky project thing that is going to remain shrouded in semi-secret for a bit here.”
I’m smelling Trivial Pursuit Westerberg Edition big time.
Everybody’s dressing funny
I took a vow, a vow of celebrity
your age is the hardest age
just add water, I’m disappointed
Can I use your hairspray?
I’m the boy she can’t ignore
town to town, Duluth to Madison
Judged once, and then left aside
A dream too tired to come true
knowledge adds, wisdom lets slide
kewpie dolls and urine stalls
Im past my prime, or was that just a pose
give me tambourines, a pair of shaking hips
Is this a library or bar?
On my feet as far as I can tell
Divine intervention was not my intention
“left a rebel without a clue”
No Tom Petty allowed…
.
.
.
“I believe I have just started to bore the only guy who’s listening”
“Ain’t got anything, to say to anyone, anymore”
“We’re boring enormous; please just ignore us”
You’re power drunk with passion
A fact I can’t ignore
We don’t dare ask for your photograph
You couldn’t bear lying in some drawer
I’m in love with someone that doesn’t exist
Used to be a folker, ’til you tried to choke her
I can do no right in your eyes
Do the dead man shake, shake
You’re my favorite thing
Well I can’t breathe / I can’t swallow
Outta my way, can’t see no band
Beats pickin’ cotton
Idiots act like geniuses
Geniuses act like idiotses
Drownin’ in this city
You’re like a picture on a fridge that’s never stocked with food
We’ll inherit the earth but we don’t want it
You like the frosting, you just bought the cake
They say all the worlds a stage, it’s more like a medicine cabinet
if you love somebody, set them free
2 minutes in the penalty box — illegal use of Sting.
bring your own lampshade
One I’ve had in my head lately: “You’re my favorite thing / But I’m nothing!”
If no one’s on your canvas, then I’m achin’ to be.
Income tax deduction… what a hell of a function.
all over but the shouting.
And every single one liner from I will Dare. 😀
Haha my brain isn’t on straight and I’m in a rush to head up to see Soul Asylum tonight. (Fingers crossed that Tommy gigs with them tonight!!)
Baby needs a brand new pair of eyes, ’cause the ones you got now see only goodbyes.
Sorry, 17 words… OK, OK, I’m the guy in the ten-items-or-less line with a basket full of stuff. But these lyrics conform to your first rule: they kick me in the teeth AND the ass AND the heart. So there.
Liberty…It’s a lie.
Still in love with nobody…& I used to be nobody.
I can live without your touch, but I’ll die within your reach.
Big town’s got it losers, Small town’s got it’s vices.
Get shit faced drunk tryin’ ta sober up.
The rich are gettin’ richer while the poor are gettin’ drunk.
The world owes you NOTHIN’.
F-U-C-K-E-D that’s me.
Shocking how nothing shocks anymore.
If no one’s on your canvas…Well, I’m achin’ to be.
Lonely, I guess that’s where I’m from.
When I’m alone I have no cause to think about the shit we used to know.
My tears fell through the dirt as I heaved you to the sky.
Gonna show you something ain’t never been done.
Invisible man who can sing in a visible voice.
The words I thought I brought I left behind.
Trouble keeping your head up when you’re hungry and you’re fed up.
You’re the coolest guy that I ever have smelt.
A Saturday sippin’ beer it’s getting’ drunk without a year.
Jesus rides beside me, been awhile since he’s checked my pulse (best boot alt I’ve heard).
I smell you hair, on the clothes I wear, I miss your face.
Baby needs a brand new pair of eyes, cause the ones you got now see only goodbyes.
& We’re standing in the shadows, forever on the brink, turn it up so I don’t have to think.
& If you say nothing, then that’s something I’ll understand.
Some shit on the needle, like your record.
You been swearing to God, now maybe if you’d ask.
Think big once in a while.
One more night to get it half right.
Down on all fives, Let me crawl.
Hold my life because I just might lose it.
If you knew how I felt, You wouldn’t act so adult.
Pound the prairie pavement, losin’ proposition.
The ones who love us best are the ones we’ll lay to rest & visit their graves on holidays at best.
Ya grow old in a bar.
You and I fall together, You and I sleep alone.
I used to live at home, now I stay at their house.
Intoxicated, every minute I French kiss.
In my face and out my ear.
I give you my jacket, You give me your glamour, Gimmie that record, Gimmie that hammer.
What they teach you to fix, needs to be broke.
I say he who laughs first didn’t get the joke.
Wisdom is ignorance; stupidity I call it freedom.
This 9 to 5 bullshit don’t let you forget whose suicide you’re on.
You wax poetic about things pathetic, as long as you look so cute.
But the most beautiful by far, Scream of the man who never learned to fly.
I could use some breathing room, but I’m still in love with you.
If I could only find your volume knob.
Let’s not belong together.
Hurry up, teach you some patience…fast.
Wouldn’t dare ask for your photograph, You couldn’t bear lying in some drawer.
Buck Hill!
Now I only sleep when spoken too
You can dress to the eights, you can dress to maim
She’s got the devil in her eyes
If I was from Canada, then I best become lonesome
Get shitfaced drunk tryin’ to sober up
Where are the Twinkies? What’s on sale?
Try to free a slave of ignorance
I keep on wakin’ fully confused
I’d just like to nominate this (already posted above) as the greatest single line PW’s every written:
Answering Machine “Got a handful of friends, one needs a match and one needs some ice.”
Up until a few years ago I just considered that kind of a throwaway line, ie he’s at a party and there a couple friends there that need these things.
UNTIL, someone on Kathy’s site pointed out that what he’s saying is that the smoke and the drink are literally his friends. Brilliant (and perhaps obvious to most, but I’m kinda dense and thus needed it pointed out to me).
Ike, I had never, ever thought about it that way and you’re right it is Brilliant.
Wow. I thought I was done learning new things.
thank you.
‘If I was from Canada, then I best become lonesome”
I thought that was:
“If I was from Canada, then I’d best be called ‘lonesome'”
… the explanation being that he’d heard that in Canada they say ‘lonesome’ instead of ‘lonely,’ like they call it where he’s from
If only you were lonely too
The only lie worth telling is I’m in love with you
one foot in the door, the other one in the gutter
can you stand me on my feet
Get shitface drunk try to sober up
Don’t break your neck when you fall down laughing
Try to breathe some life into a letter
Losing hope, never gonna be together
You and I fall together
You and I sleep alone
I never travel far, without a little Big Star
You’ve never changed
I just never got past
Your little rock & roll ass
You’ve learned to quit, it’s a stunning trait
And every loser knows this
It’s the dialogue I can live without
Hurry up, my place or his?
if you need someone
to tell everything you’ve done
then lie to me
i’m the one who can attempt to be your friend
Bring a thimble and I’ll pour my thoughts out
Just a few that i love!!!!! sorry!
Feeling better than yesterday, but worse than tomorrow.
honkywithahaton, you’re right. That was just my stupid early morning typo.
Ike, that’s genius! I never thought of it that way, and now I love that song even more.
Dont feel bad…i hear “If…I was from canada…where the best become of some…”
But hey, I did get figure out Answering Machine hehe…
And as on the answering machine line..he often qoutes booze and cigs as his friends… can ya figure those lyrics out out smarties?
best posting name ever: honkywithahaton
From “I’ll Be You,” 1989: “I’m dressin’ sharp and feelin’ dull …”
“never finishes, she abandons”
“invisible man who can sing in a visible voice”
“you try to hail an ambulance”
“Leap of faith or a jump of stupid”
These lines are like Paul’s ticket into my brain. As much as I love the wordplay, and I totally love it, in the long run I’m more interested in what else he’s got once he’s there.
Beege:
“if you need someone
to tell everything you’ve done
then lie to me
i’m the one who can attempt to be your friend”
I think the last part is actually
“i’m the one content to be your friend”
but the next part is even more powerful:
“if you need someone
tell anything you’ve done
lie to me
i’m the one, I still can pretend”
and a triple vote for the “handful of friends” line in answering machine. also took me a couple of years before i got it, but when it did, i literally got chills.
My love for you has finally scarred.
I hear your voice, I hit erase.
LITTLE MASCARA – Nap ’em and you slap in a high chair
NOBODY – I used to be nobody.
I’LL BE YOU – I’m bored right out of my skull.
ALL SHOOK DOWN – Hollywood cops shoot other in bed
I DON’t KNOW – One foot in the door, the other one in the gutter.